Welcome to friendsofbonnie.org
Bonnie and I wanted to post this page to this page to help others diagnosed with cancer or any serious condition. The content of this website site is our personal opinion and
based on our personal experiences. This is not a professional
reference. Use this information at your own
discretion.
When your doctor first mentioned the word cancer you were likely shocked.
I remember thinking "This can't be real...." then
forgot most of what was said after that point... sound
familiar? Bonnie and I have both been there. We
have listed some suggestions that will hopefully prevent you from
facing some of the blunders that we made. A lot of soul
searching was done on our part to determine how much of
our lives we should expose. We decided to share some
personally honest
information with you that is not available anywhere else.
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Your life will be forever changed. You will notice different situations in the media will make you feel uncomfortable. How you deal with this is your choice. We found that discussing the event with other cancer patients made us take note that we were not alone.
You will discover new inner strengths - one of which is forgiveness. Well meaning people will say incredibly stupid things to you. You will need to learn to forgive them. You must learn to forgive yourself as well as others. You will come to understand the preceding sentence in time. It is an experience more than words can explain.
Some people will move closer to you, while others will distance themselves. We had friends and family who felt that it was best to step back and give us space. Conversely, others were constantly there at our side. Everybody is affected and must handle this in their own way. Do not focus on judging others response to your situation. Focus on getting well.
There may be an initial surge of support that wanes. Once again, you are not forgotten. People tend to drift back into their daily routines. You will find a new balance and flow in your days. Stay in touch and don't be afraid to ask for assistance when you really need it. Focus on the love and kindness shown to you.
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Dealing with your health insurance coverage:
Before you get into the flurry of doctor visits we found it necessary to check the health insurance policy for essential information. Ask the doctor or their staff what is, and what is not covered by your health insurance. Most doctor's will try to accommodate holes in your policy. You and the doctor's staff must be on the same page. Another option is contact your health insurance company and ask them a few questions listed below. We recommend that you request a copy of your policy and keep it with you.
- Are doctors visits or consultations covered?
- What are the limitations or co-pays?
- Will you need pre-authorization approval for each visit or treatment?
- Does your health insurance have a yearly and / or lifetime limit? (cap)
- Obtain Cd, DVD, text or film copies of your test results. Some facilities will give you a free copy the day of the procedure, but charge you if you need to obtain copies at a later date. The copies of your tests may not be covered by your insurance policy.
- Take your test results to the various doctor meetings
- Save your prescription information or bring your prescriptions with you. Include vitamins, over the counter medications, and those medications given to you as chemotherapy in your list. A detailed dated list of the drug, dosage, and intervals taken is really helpful - but you must keep that list up to date!
- Have someone accompany you to your doctor's visit, and have that person take notes
- Prepare a list of questions and comments in advance of your doctor or clinic visits. Otherwise, you may forget to mention things.
- Give your chemotherapist every bit of information that you can. Tell them how the treatments make you feel both physically and emotionally. It will take a while for the chemotherapist and doctor to balance your treatment for optimum effect with minimal personal impact. This takes time. Your communication regarding complications will help the doctors.
- If you enter a chemotherapy that will cause hair loss, prepare your self in advance. Wigs are available with substantial discounts or for free. Ask your oncologist or their staff. You may want to have your hair cut short early if it starts falling out. There are some hair salons that provide free or steep discounts to chemotherapy patients. Brochures are usually available a the chemotherapy lab.
- Ask for trial quantities (typically 10) or samples of new medications.
- SLEEP! You must sleep. We understand that sleep can seem impossible. You may wake at night with a busy mind. Ask your doctor for an anti-anxiety drug or sleep aid as a temporary or permanent measure. Once you settle into a routine you will find it easier to unwind. Your tension and apprehension are natural. Note: we found that a few cheaper generic medications worked as well or better than the nationally advertised expensive medication. Ask for samples before spending $120 on a 30 day prescription that may not work as well as a $10 prescription.
- You must accept help from others. (This was a difficult aspect for me to embrace.) Your already complicated life will get more complicated, especially during the initial period. There is no need to fight this battle alone. Let the love and kindness of others into your life.
- Mention transportation issues to the doctor's staff. There may be public or private options available by volunteer organizations.
- Dress in layers for comfort. Loose clothing makes port access easier.
- Have someone accompany you, or drive you . - Especially if your treatment might make you drowsy
- Bring a favorite book or magazine to help pass time
- Take your Mp3 player with ear buds or better yet noise canceling headphone (if you prefer to isolate yourself from TV sounds)
- Tell the staff how you are feeling and alert them if you don't feel well.
- Don't be afraid to ask questions about your treatments or other chemotherapy related concerns
- Listen carefully to what other patients and survivors have to say
- There will usually be limited snacks or drinks at hand. You may prefer to bring your lunch if there is going to be a long day.
About yourself:
- Try to keep time for your recreational activities
- Don't forget to laugh. Rent dvd's , watch comedy TV, and if you can, laugh at yourself.
- Focus on the positive
- Depression is something that affects numerous cancer patients. Seek help and /or guidance from your health care professional
- Your taste for certain foods may change. This my just be temporary. Explore your new cravings.
- Accept help from others. We were recently made aware of a free home cleaning service available to chemotherapy patients at cleaningforareason.org
- Apply for a handicapped parking permit before you need it, as they take time to be approved by your gov't. Your option to utilize it will then be available. We chose to walk as much as possible for the exercise. The permits really come in handy for when you are not feeling up to par..
- Also, your hospital or chemotherapy lab may also offer discount or free valet parking for the duration of your treatments. The forms are typically available upon request.
We hope that you find this page helpful.
It was updated on 11/12/11
'best wishes
Jim and Bonnie